Hi friends, I know it’s been a while since I have blogged. Excuse me for that as I have been too occupied at work as a member of the Individualized Support Team in a school that follows the International Baccalaureate Program. My last blog was about logical consequences. I promised that I would come out with logical consequences for the situations that you send me. I have received too many situations and I will answer the most general ones. If you missed my previous blog, you can click on the following link.
Let’s address the situations:
The child makes promises to play the iPad for one hour but refuses to stop and we get into a fight.
Logical Consequence with the appropriate language:
“I understand that you enjoy playing the iPad. The expectation was to play for an hour. Since we found it difficult to follow the expectation. We need to make a choice between giving up the iPad for an x number of days or reducing the iPad time to half-hour.”
If the child still finds it difficult to follow the expectation, the child must be told that the privilege of playing with the iPad will have to be taken away until he shows that he is ready.
2. The child hits or verbally hurts another child.
Logical Consequence with the appropriate language:
You break it, you fix it.
The child needs to fix the problem by finding a strategy. He can apologize, make an apology card for the child, discuss with the friend. He needs to be told, “If you find it difficult to follow the expectation, the privilege of playing with friends will be take away until you believe that you are ready to play safely. Because, right now your friends do not feel safe with you around. So, you make a choice how would you like to fix this.”
3. The child talks disrespectfully.
Logical Consequence with the appropriate language:
“If we cannot say anything kind, then we must not say at all.”
The child must be told firmly that his words were unkind and disrespectful. He needs to decide if he would like to make a good choice by being careful of the words that he uses, or he would like to pull himself out until he is ready to be respectful. There could be a peace corner made in a house where the child is expected to take a break and reflect on his behavior.
The children must always receive a chance to correct their behavior before receiving a consequence. Children want to be trusted. They feel respected when given the responsibility of making good choices.
It is imperative that adults make the right choice of words when they speak to the children.
I reiterate consequences are not to punish or hurt the children but to give them an opportunity to learn.